Mind over matter.

"Tomorrow will be better."

"But what if it's not?"

"Then you say it again tomorrow. Because it might be. You never know, right? At some point, tomorrow will be better."

Friday ~ Sunday

27th July (Friday)

I spent 8 hours of my life in the general office studying on that day... hais. It was one of the most productive and boring day in school ever... t-_-t

28th July (Saturday)

Met Michelle for lunch at Pastamania and we studied for a little while at MacD's. Had a great time catching up with her because we've been really occupied with school work this month. (CAN YOU BELIEVE JULY IS ENDING ALREADY)

Oh and I sorta spammed her phone with pictures of.... me. Hahaha. Put them all together into a collage!

Later on at night I met Gw and Jeff, we caught "The Dark Knight Rises". I was never a superhero-movie-without-cute-young-and-hot-actors-in-it kind of girl but this wasn't that bad. Throughout the whole movie I was praying that there wouldn't be a gunman coming into the theatres with a rifle or something like that. Ahhhhhh my heart goes out to the family of the victims of the Colorado shooting. So tragic.

Anyways, the movie started at 9pm and it was 3 frickin' hours long..... guess where were we seated in the theatre? 

2nd row from the ultra-left. Naaaaaabei! But like I said, it wasn't a bad movie, I wouldn't have understood it if it wasn't for Jeff the movie expert. Nonetheless the graphics and everything made me go "whoa" because of how real everything looked. I wonder how much they spent on filming that movie......


,

29th July (Sunday)

Aq's 16th birthday!! I'm so happy that she's happy on that day. So thankful to have a friend like her who I know I can always count on. I can remember just 2 weeks ago I was calling her when I was in school, I couldn't even talk because I had difficulty breathing as I was sobbing like crazy(please don't ask why) but she immediately came back to school to find me. The amount of things she did for me is countless man. I can be 100% me around her, my house is her house(she strolled in to my place when I was still sleeping before hahaha and she stayed over a couple of times as well). I honestly don't want this year to end so quickly because she's graduating this year....... I secretly wish she'd retain.... hahahha just keeeeeding, I'll always wish the best for you ok babe ♥

I went meet her early in the evening while we wait for the rest(Dylan, Marvin, Alicia, Victoria & Dionis) to arrive and then we had steamboat for dinz. Had to rush over to plaza sing to catch the Thai horror movie "I Miss You". I'd rate it 3/5? It's not that scary..... but *spoiler* it was really sad hahaha. We all went home after the movie ended which was pretty late since there was school the next day. Had a terrible time waking up this morning T.T




xoxo

Still alive.

Yesterday, 3/4 of the class skipped PoA(IKR), went to chill, the guys played basketball and I took nonsensical vids.. Oh and my friends played with my hair too, which explains the fishtail braid.

After school, met Tinglin again for our study/lunch/bitching/catchup/whatever date hahaha. 

Had a wonderful time with her as usual. We just heaps of things in common!! 

Today... was a boring and long day in school. Nothing has been causing me to be unhappy or whatsoever in school so far.. which is obviously a good thing. Ok except for the fact where I got friggin' suspension but I managed to push it off till friday, bringing a lot of stuff to study tomorrow. Imagine facing the god damn wall from 7.45am to 4pm, IMAGINE IT. At least there's the air-conditioner.. or else I might just die.

New math tutor came over today, I really like her. A'ight that's about it hahaha. X

Caprice.

I asked my mom for help on my Chinese homework last night. It was undoubtedly the first time in years, because 1) my mom was always busy with work and never had the time (CL is like her best subject of all time hahaha) 2) I don't do my Chinese homework. Hah. Gratifying indeed. After that Singtel kinda fucked up and affected all of our computers and laptops at home so whilst waiting for the Singtel fairies to do their magical work, we browsed through our old photo albums. So nostalgic.

I miss being a kid. My mom took tons of photos of me and my brothers man. She said that I loooooved posing for the camera, even when I was in my PJs I'd go to the curtains and act all model-ish hahaha. Come to think of it, I used to hate wearing some of the clothes my mom got for me, but they were actually nice!!! And was actually friggin' expensive. I was like the spoilt brat from hell man. My parents really bought me whatever I wanted, regardless of the price, even if it's broken they'd buy me a new one, even if I already had 2 doll houses, I'd just cry and they'd buy me another. I honestly think that my parents would be pretty rich if I didn't exist. Until now, my dad still disapproves of me getting a part-time job 'cuz he believes that I would like, die(ok not die la it's more of 'cannot tahan') and he thinks studying is way more important, but I always feel friggin' guilty everytime I ask my parents for money. I'd be like "But I keep taking your money leh papa...." and he'd say, "Study lah so you can earn more money and buy whatever the hell you want in the future." Which makes sense lah. I really felt the damn pinch this year man. My parents spent 10 effing thousand dollars on my TEETH. (5k for braces, 5k for the operation I had to go through hais)

Ok I sidetracked a lot in that above paragraph... where was I again? Oh. Photo albums. Heh, behold... it's baby Carrine~

 What was I marvelling at????? Yep. Food.

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha.

Ok let's get over the sentimental part of this blog entry.

It was not really a good day in school today. It's been a helllllllll of a long time ever since I'd shouted back at a teacher. To think that it was only YESTERDAY I'd promised to be nicer to that particular teacher. My classmates even tried to cook(STEAMBOAT hahaha) in her class yesterday. I wish I could take back the "fuck you lah" and just storm right outta class without saying anything but whatever. I was never a tolerant person. I choose to believe that it has something to do with the genes passed down from my parents because my dad is no doubt the most impatient man on earth, really...

THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS.

Nothing but a good episode of Running Man to make my day though. Okay abrupt ending..

xoxo

This ain't a scene.

Spent my Sunday out with Pingswen today, I'd normally just stay home and catch up with my studies on Sundays, so I thought we'd study when we're out but oh boy, our study plan was a major FAIL. My diet and saving-$$ plans can also go down the god damn drain with it. We had fun nonetheless. We have this similar fondness of mimicking a sentence/phrase of some random stranger after overhearing them and walking away. Hahaha. AND we saw Steven Lim...... Pingswen literally grabbed my hand after seeing him and I was like "Wha-?? Oh." and he looked at us, nodded his head, smiled and said, "Hi." How friendly.

Had lunch at Subway, being the careful and graceful person that I am, I spilt my drink and had to pay $1.90 for a new cup.... t-_-t Walked and shopped around NEX, had yummy froyo...

Then we went to the library to browse through Seventeen magazine hahahahaha. Had korean food for dinz and I bought another 0.38 pen... I can never get enough of them... They even have the ones with polka dotted design now. Favourite. Pen. Ever.

Oh well. 3(or more) tests to study for this week...

xoxo

Finding my way back to sanity.

My oral exam went fine I guess. There were, of course, slip-ups and all here and there but whatever, it's already over and I'm just going to look forward to whatever life's going to bring me. Shit happens, but life goes on, right?

Anyways, Friday has got to be the laziest school day ever. Went home to take a little cat nap before I met Alex in the evening for dinner. Talked a lot, ranted a lot, laughed a lot and took a lot of pictures. Hung out with Yu Ning, Sofia, Fahmi, Stella, Charlotte, Yongxin, Accalia and co. for a bit at night, it was for a while but it was still hilarious. Before I start off my Saturday with Italian lunch and lots of notes and assessment books........

Sorry, got bored in class hahahaha. 

Me and my friends' friendship cow named Miu Miu HAHAHA we each have our own ones and I coloured it myself, we got it at the SPW fest or something in school that day. 

One of our many pictures. Pardon the shitty quality because it was pretty dark outside so I had to do a lot of nonsense to it's brightness.

xoxo

"My best is good enough."

I know I've repeated this countless of times but I just can't stress how thankful I am to have some amazing people in my life. Just wanted to thank my friends, the ones who genuinely give a shit about my well-being, the ones who'd go all the way to make me happy/cheer me up when I'm upset, the ones who simply CARE. So this is basically a friendship appreciation paragraph, you guys know who you are.

I'm retaking my Chinese O level oral tomorrow because I skipped it last week. Maybe it was reckless (and irresponsible... meh) of me, because I honestly didn't felt like going, I wasn't even prepared. But this week my friends have been exceedingly supportive and helpful. Even the people whom I'm not close with are telling me to "jia you, prove them wrong!!" in school. I don't think I deserve such nice treatments lor but I am still very grateful. And because of that I'm rather determined to try my best tomorrow and hopefully do well(self-soothing myself because my self-esteem is shit but i'm trying to think positive). Like I said, my dad raised me to always try my best in everything, it's ok if I fail because it's "not the end of the freaking world". 

Anyway, Jeff had been an especially awesome friend this week. All the nonsense he had done for me I have no idea how he's able to handle my bullshits. Instead of a "cheer up, don't cry", I get a "CRY CRY CRY, you stupid or what? DON'T THINK SO MUCH LAH. Tell you don't think already you think think think. Stupid sia. ONLY KNOW HOW TO RUN AWAY FROM REALITY. FACE IT AND THEN IT'S OVER ALREADY LAH RUN RUN RUN." 

And that was exactly what I needed. Someone to give me a wake-up call. He's the only one who(had the balls to) did it. That bitch made me realize that I'm always escaping, running away, pushing people who wants to help me away, pushing things away. And that I'm always, ALWAYS, overthinking. Ok what I've stated above was only his douchebag side, the list of the awesome things he has done for me is endless man. Where to find a friend who'd skip lessons/cca(where got time) for you to get an mc, to wait for your teacher, to explain to your teacher why you've been such a bitch, to tutor you etc etc etc etc and still have to tolerate your insults... LOL 

Another awesome friend of mine literally ran in front of the bus to stop it for me today(LIKE THOSE MOVIES I SWEAR) is Guanwee as I was rushing to meet a friend hahhahahhaha. 

Anyway I met Tinglin for the 10,000th time today again hahaha and she was also super helpful for tomorrow, ;') ♥ 

OK pictures before I read and go to bed.

 Can you tell who is who??????? Even I'M confused.

 Our resemblance is fucking uncanny...

 THIS IS THE SCARIEST PICTURE EVER I COULDN'T EVEN TELL WHICH ONE IS ME HAHHAHAHAHA.

xoxo

One of my biggest inspirations...

Just thought ya'll should know that. ;) ♥

Prosy.

Hell yeah Avenged Sevenfold!

I haven't been bringing my camera out lately... the iPhone works wonders anyway. Study date with Dionis, Gw & Jeff yesterday. It was a semi-productive day because we ended up abducting each other's phones so we could rape each other's twitter accounts... hahahahaha I literally laughed till my sides started to hurt. And that's why I love hanging out with my hilarious friends. 

Some random pictures...

 Coffee iz my bff.

 HAHA our hands(Gw & I) in comparison!! I wrote 'blackie' and 'whitey' just to take that picture haha.
He is so tanned! The difference between basketball dude and bookworm girl...

And..... some other random pictures I took.

Oh well, oh well, oh well... How dreadful. Hate knowing that it's Monday tomorrow. AGAIN. *rolls eyes*

July has not been good to me. Imprudence. Pressure. Petulance. STRESS. STRESS. STRESS. Meh.

Battlefield.

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around it." - To Kill a Mocking Bird

It has been a hell of a week. I've been constantly reminding myself that tough times will pass. I practically live by the quote, "pain is temporary" ever since my surgery last year. Anyways, school was school, it's dull and torturous sometimes but I'm still coping. I did well for my Social Studies test and I got full marks for my Math and Chemistry tests, however I realized I wasn't all that merry when I was given back my test papers, I felt stressed. I need to stop being so hard on myself wtf, my dad has always been telling me to try my best in whatever I'm doing, "fail never mind one".

Reason why I'm spending lesser time on facebook, twitter, blah blah blah, is because I've been studying like, almost every day.. Meh. Geeks like me have to go out and get lives soon. Anyways, caught "The Amazing Spiderman" two days back with my dearest Tinglin. It was good and I'm pretty sure there's going to be a sequel. Andrew Garfield is so cute.......

He's cuter in the movie though so ya'll should watch it. Hah. Ending this monotonous entry with a picture of my random sketch during art today because my teacher was missing in action...

xoxo

Pre-Monday Blues.

Met my other half for the.. what, 3rd time this week today?! It was a pretty productive day... Something hysterical happened anyway, her grandmother mistaken me for her and we were both shocked hahaha I mean hello?? Her grandmother!!!

Pictures we took while we were procrastinating... She's one of the few people whom I can spam and spam lots of photographs with man. Most of the people would just get... tired. Haha.

Oh well... it's Monday again tomorrow... I hate Mondays. We start off our Monday mornings with higher mothertongue class and I fucking hate that class I want to drop that subject so badly. Perhaps I sound like a bitch because there are people who would killllllll to get 2 points off their O level score (that is, only if they want to get into a junior college), I am more than willing to give up my place for other people because I clearly don't deserve to be in that class. But I am discontented and that is that. 

The only things that are keeping me going are my friends and family. Not forgetting the little - but still, significant - things like music. And books. Because they help me break away from our confusing, scary yet inevitable reality. 

xoxo

In a blink of an eye.

A week has gone by already. Every month - most of the times at the orthodontist's because it's a monthly thing - I'd find myself thinking "It's february/march/april/may/june and now JULY already".

2 years ago, I'd have an iPhone 3G s with me, not an iPhone4. I'd be on msn or something, talking to my friends, not sitting here blogging on my iphone after hours of practicing mathematics. 2 years ago in school I'd be skipping classes all the friggin time it's surprising that I can even stay in the express stream, not sitting at the front of the class and jotting down every single thing, worrying about my national exams next year, worrying about my future. 2 years ago, I'd tell my math teacher who thought I was talking to my friend during a test and reprimanded me for it, "Fuck you, I don't want to do your fucking test anymore. *rolls eyes* *throws test paper*", not give the "WTF" face, kept quiet and continued with the test. Which I am pretty confident in doing, fingers crossed!

Ahhhhh all the nostalgic memories. It's quite scary, come to think of it. How different things can be after 1-2 years. I wonder what it'll be like in the 1-2 years to come. This might sound dumb but I actually miss those fun and rebellious days hahaha I was freaking care-free. I didn't know how it felt like to be stressed. This year everything is topsy turvy, I'm just reminding myself to not lose it and stay strong all the time. Le sigh.

Oh well. I'm craving for a cup of froyo now, and nooooooooo sogurt at marine parade(closest outlet to where I'm staying) is closing down due to rental issues... :'( Speaking of! Sogurt, subway and little bean(beancurd stall located at my school area which is pretty awesome) came to my school for a week! Wow, not bad Manjusri, now just do something about the attire and grooming rules, and maybe I'd like you.

Enjoy your weekend everyone. X

Nineteen minutes.