I write to express, not to impress.

Think before you speak.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 || 4:38 PM

So this a actually a pretty random blog post, was kinda inspired, so yeah.

Have you ever been called ugly, fat, stupid, etc?
Have you ever called someone ugly, fat, stupid, etc?

Yes. Definitely, right? (I know I have.)

Well, have you ever thought of how the person whom you called ugly/fat/stupid would feel? When you were called ugly/fat/stupid, how would you feel? Maybe you would feel that the little insult someone shot at you is nothing, maybe it wouldn't affect you, but to some other people, it will hurt them, and also affect them, maybe for the rest of their lives.

Maybe that girl whom you called ugly, goes home staring at the mirror crying everyday. Maybe she slits her wrists everytime she feels like shit, and do you even know how it feels to be so depressed to the extend of hurting yourself? You have to hide the cuts, if someone notices, you most probably have to come up with a lie, "Oh I accidentally knocked into some kind of edge. I didn't even know it was there." Then you'll have to start cutting yourself in places where nobody can see the scars. So people who cut themselves might not actually be the 'attention-seekers' you thought(I thought, too) they were. Because you never felt so insecure and upset, you'll never know how it feels.

And maybe the girl whom you called fat, starves herself everyday and does the same thing I mentioned in the paragraph above. Maybe you're just too fucking skinny for your own good(malnu-fucking-trition), maybe your weight's just average, but you make yourself feel better by calling someone else fat. Ever thought that maybe she's just big-boned or something? Ever thought that your words could turn someone anorexic/bulimic? Ever thought that your words could actually hurt someone? Or maybe KILL someone? Here's what's wrong with the society, we don't think before we speak.

It's really easy to just smile and everyone would believe that nothing is wrong with you. Maybe the really happy-and-very-satisfied-with-her-life girl isn't really who you think she is.

LET ME SHARE WITH YOU, ONE OF MY DARKEST SECRETS, WHAT I'VE EXPERIENCED.

When I was just about seven or eight I was underweight, 15kg to be exact. Then as I grew older, Primary 5(eleven y/o) I started having a big appetite(puberty or something I don't know), and I was over 30kg I guess, and it was normal, average weight for all eleven year olds. Until someone(whom I thought was a friend), well, she called me fat. Repeatedly. Then there's this one day, I looked right into the mirror. Stared at my body. "I am fat." I told myself. "I want to be skinny, just like ___."

That's when I started to starve myself. My peers and family then told me after a month or two, that I've lost alot of weight. I was delighted to hear that, but I wasn't fully contented, I wanted to be skinniER. So the starvation continued. And one day, I passed out singing the national anthem in my primary school. Low blood pressure for not eating enough. Can you imagine how just one sentence, "You're so fat", "Well you're fat", etc, can make an eleven/twelve year old, do this to herself?

From that day onwards I was afraid that I might faint again, so I started eating normally(thank goodness I was smart enough). I have to admit, up till now, I still feel insecure about how I look. But as cliche as it sounds, nobody's fucking perfect. So I've learnt to accept the way I am(never good enough, always room for improvement = you're perfect already). And all of you should too.

So be sure to think before you fucking speak(that's the whole point of this blog entry in case you haven't noticed), calling someone ugly won't make you any prettier, you should take a good look in the mirror before you call someone ugly as well. Calling someone stupid sure as hell won't make you any smarter as well. Well I honestly don't know how to end this, so yup.